I know I’m not the first to comment on the increasingly ridiculous ‘technological advances’ in men’s razors, but I can’t resist asking – just how hard is it for you guys to shave?
Gillette now has Fusion, with five blades on one side, and a single blade on the reverse for ‘precision.’
Five blades? Really? FIVE?
Of course, for the man who really wants a better razor, there’s the battery-powered Fusion.
At least there is some comfort in the fact that nothing really changes when it comes to how to sell, if not what to sell. The Fusion site is rife with buttons and cool graphics. Narrated by Cassandra, the short-skirted, high-heeled, long-haired ‘director of the lab,’ the story of Fusion apparently begins in a secret desert lab (a la Moonraker, perhaps?) with hi-tech holograms of Cassandra in a fetching lab coat over a skintight red minidress.
If you choose to enter the ‘holosphere,’ as invited to by the ever-beguiling Cassandra, you have the option of selecting ‘Fun’ – which, according to Cassie, is why you’re there in the first place.
What constitutes fun? A screen full of links to on-line gaming sites.
So it comes down to this – if you want to convince men to buy yet another pricey razor, you need (1) more blades, (2) a new twist [in this case the reverse ‘precision’ blade], (3) optional batteries, (4) a spokeswoman who is both obviously smart, since she’s the lab director, and obviously hot for you, (5) cool graphics and effects, and (6) links to other manly pursuits like on-line card games.
Five blades?
As usual, The onion was way ahead of the game. This came out when the 4 blade razors were just coming out.