Naomi Christel Wark

…was born this morning at 9:06 a.m. She weighed 8 lbs 5 oz., and arrived in a hurry!
I have the honour of being the first non-parent, non-medical person to hold her.
More pictures and details on her very own site.

I am your father, um…

Scary vader mask
Some of you may already know that Robert, our now-six-year-old, has been a little, well, confused, gender-wise, for some time. He likes girly toys, like mermaid dolls, he likes girly images, like unicorns, and he frequently pretends to be a girl, namely Vanessa the Fembot.
In an effort to be hip, modern, with-it parents, we have tried to be accommodating – we even got Santa to bring Robert a Barbie for Christmas (along with her beach buggy and a Ken doll (who now has real hair, by the way)). We have watched unicorn movies with him (although I draw the line at Angelina Ballerina, the cartoon about the white mouse who whines and cries incessantly).
Having said that, we were nonetheless thrilled that Robert expressed a strong desire for the scary Darth Vader voice-changing helmet. So last weekend, for Robert’s 6th birthday, we gave him the helmet.
Later that evening, a tiny yet terrifying heavy breather stomped up to Dr. T and said “Muahaha! Do you know who I am?” Dr. T, who’s not just a pretty face, said “You must be Darth Vader!”
To which the helmeted figure replied “No – I am Darth Vader’s wife!! Muahaha!”

irony (n.)

Note to readers
We published a promotional advertisement yesterday saying today’s Gazette would carry a story about “A boy who fell between the cracks.” Because of production delays, the story does not appear today. It will be published in the near future.

from the Montreal Gazette, Saturday, Oct. 15, 2005

Five weeks down, ten to go

getfuzzy.jpg We’re starting to hit a rhythm, albeit a fast, pounding, this-is-house-music-and-this-is-why-we-don’t-go-out-to-clubs-anymore rhythm.
I have a pretty good idea of what I’m doing in all four of the courses, and now that last week’s towering pile of corrections has been (almost) eradicated, I’m bracing myself for next week’s incoming slew of essays. In the meantime, my sister is graciously providing the Thanksgiving feast, and all I have to do is make my cranberry gravy. My plan for Thanksgiving involves eating an obscene amount of food and drinking a lot of good wine.
Observations of student life:
1 – cell phones are not only absolutely essential, they are statements of individuality (ha!) featuring customized ring tones and rhinestones. If your cell phone is in your bag and you’re not in class, you’re just not trying hard enough.
2 – if you’re female, clothing should be as form-fitting as possible, and no matter how many t-shirts you have layered, your push-up bra should make sure there is very little left to the imagination.
2a – if you’re male, clothing should be as loose as possible. It should look like you’re not quite finished dressing yet. Adults should look at you and have to restrain themselves from screaming “for goodness sake, pull up your pants.”
3 – When entering the building, please take a moment of silent reverence as you gaze skyward, to the class cancellation screen. Worship this screen. Believe in the power of the screen. Amen.