It’s all downhill from here

My lovely friend Erin (or, as Dr. T calls her, my hot supermodel friend Erin) recently interviewed Colin and Robert for her article on tobogganing – check it out!!
In the photo, by the way, Erin is wearing a hat that I made. The hat did not take as long to make as the children.

Not buying it

So I’ve been tuning in the Olympics every once in a while, in the midst of our basement project, just to see how we Canadians are faring (better this week). Since the Atlanta games, I have a real aversion to American coverage – for all I know, it’s significantly better than then, but I’m not taking any chances. So I’m watching CBC’s coverage, and I have some questions.
1. How come Ron McLean is tolerable as a foil to Don Cherry but gratingly irksome as an Olympic anchor? Or is it just me?
2. Who was the machiavellian genius who decided to air half the events on bold, the new CBC digital channel?
3. What the heck is the point of that Bombardier ad in which various people in various languages sing ‘O Canada’?
4. What the heck is with the “er” in all the Bell ads?
5. Is it just me, or does the Air Canada “what the games mean to me” ad campaign drive everyone else nuts, too? They should at least air a response ad in which pilots discuss what they do have in common with the athletes: they both have to get good height, go the distance, and stick the landing.
6. Does the fact that 2/3 of these questions involve ads reflect the fact that there is way too much time devoted to advertising in the CBC coverage? And that most of that time is devoted to the same five or six ads?
Any insight is appreciated!

A lesson in juxtaposition

On page A12 of today’s Gazette there are two articles side-by-side.
Headline 1:
Vancouver drug workers fight to keep injection site alive
Headline 2:
B.C. fears arrival of giant squid on killing rampage
Can’t you just hear it now? “This might be the drugs talkin’, but I think there’s a giant squid after me, man.”

For want of a comma

So, according to this morning’s Gazette, lunar colonization appears to be a matter of fiscal responsibility:

NASA will delay the first manned flight of Orion, the new spacecraft designed to take humans back to the moon because of budget constraints, the agency’s boss said.

Lynn Truss would have a field day.

Shocking news

This just in:

‘Three little words’ often driven by hopes of sex, survey finds: ‘I love you’ is not always totally sincere…
According to the 2007 Harlequin Romance Report published today, fully 58 per cent of men and 41 per cent of women have dropped an “I love you” solely in the hopes it would lead to sex.

See, now this is why it’s important to read the newspaper every day. Information like this could change your life.
(Oh, and the “2007 Harlequin Romance Report”??? Don’t even get me started.)

irony (n.)

Note to readers
We published a promotional advertisement yesterday saying today’s Gazette would carry a story about “A boy who fell between the cracks.” Because of production delays, the story does not appear today. It will be published in the near future.

from the Montreal Gazette, Saturday, Oct. 15, 2005

The final insult

So a student at Queen’s was killed last week when he fell from the side of a campus building. The National Post headline, complete with subtle editorializing:
3-storey fall kills ‘skilled’ mountaineer

Happy International Women’s Day

Yes, today is International Women’s Day – is that why the Gazette chose to run a quarter-page ad today, urging people to “ask your doctor” about weight-loss methods?
Not just any old weight-loss ad, either.
The first two lines of the ad are “I am Julie. Last night, I did a striptease for my husband.”
Then comes the picture – a woman’s body, from just below the waist to just above the knee, dressed in black garter belt and panties, turned slightly to one side.
Finally, the big question – “what would you do with a few less pounds?”
Where do I start?
On International Women’s Day, here’s an that takes up 25% of the page, in which (a) women’s bodies are reduced to specific parts, and (b) women’s body images are strictly understood in terms of women as sexual objects.
We’ve come a long way, baby.
The Gazette, and others like it, have pulled the ad in question due to generally negative reactions from readers. Although the ad does not specifically name a product, the ad comes from a pharmaceutical company, which cannot directly advertise a weight-loss medication, but can urge you to “ask your doctor” about “methods” for weight loss. Oh, and the medication in question is not just a weight-management drug, it’s available through prescription only in cases of clinical obesity.
For balance, may I suggest Barbara’s Story.

Someone get her a dictionary, dammit

Late last night, while waiting for Dr. T to make my tea, I watched part of an extraordinarily long commercial for the Ultimate 70s Collection, brought to you by the people at Time-Life, like you needed to ask.
Highlight: the perky blonde who, I’m sorry, was in no imaginable way alive in the 1970s, says of an Elton John song “now that’s one of those timeless classics that truly defines the 70s.”
timeless classic, defines the 70s