The Cat Translator
via Davezilla, from whom I also found Spell with Flikr.
Update: Oddly enough, the spell with flikr thing seems to be making my page flikr. It was a lovely image, but an annoying side-effect. I left the link in, so you can go there yourself and spell to your heart’s content (or any other phrase you prefer).
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
“I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it isn’t a poem.”
You are a type A personality. You like bright things, you don’t call in sick to work, and you have devastating opinions about art.
“Maggie, I’m writing a letter of recommendation for a student. How do you spell ‘narcolepsy’?”
From the ‘Evil Henchmen Guide’, How to Be a Villain:
Mean English Teachers
These sadistic henchmen are perfect for when you want to inflict the greatest amount of pain possible. They are arrogant, humorless, and ridiculously strict, insulting their pupils intelligence because they couldn’t become writers themselves. They can extinguish any sense of creativity once held by an individual, as well as transform previously enjoyable literary works into nightmares of horror and confusion. Their monotonous tones are capable of driving even the sanest person to the brink of insanity, useful when you are in need of a torture master. Long after a child has grown up and become a hero, the sign of a mean English teacher continues to cause fear and discomfort.
Other henchmen possibilities
Mutants Robot warriors
Ninjas (winners of the Henchmen of the Year award more than any other group)
Courtesy of Cameron and Paula:
The following were some recent winning entries in a Washington Post word definition contest.
1. Coffee (n) a person who is coughed upon
2. Flabbergasted (adj) appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v) to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj) impotent
6. Negligent (adj) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie
7. Lymph (v) to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n) an olive flavored mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n) a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n) a humorous question in an exam
12. Rectitude (n) the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions
14. Circumvent (n) the opening in the front of boxer shorts
15. Frisbeetarianism (n) the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
16. Pokemon (n) a Jamaican proctologist
The Post also invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some of those winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose getting laid (e.g.: “I’m a doctor…”)
4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high
5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it
6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness
8. Ostepornosis: A degenerate disease
9. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everbody is sending off all these really bad vibes right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10. Glibido: All talk and no action
11: Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
12. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.