Step 1: Get into shower
Step 2: Wash face
Step 3: Shampoo hair
Step 4: Condition hair
Step 5: Turn off water
Step 6: Realize that you haven’t actually washed anything below the neck, turn water back on, wash body, and reflect on the fact that we all, sometimes, have our moments.
One step closer to Kevin Bacon
So far today I have:
~ said “hi” to Mira Sorvino;
~ eaten free beef bourgignon courtesy of the film crew;
~ drunk a couple of free cups of coffee, also thanks to the film crew;
~ shaken hands with Donald Sutherland, who looked deep into my eyes and said “hello.” He said “hello” to me, in that voice. I almost bought a Volvo.
Not your average Tuesday.
One week later…
~ the marking is done!!! Final papers, final portfolios, final exams – all marked, recorded, and filed. Alphabetically, even.
~ the garden is much improved. We planted two new crabapples, and I found a beautiful gardenia that I’ve put in a big pot so I can bring it inside this fall. In the meantime it smells heavenly. Much else is afoot, gardenwise, but I’m keeping mum til things are really lush and I can post a picture.
~ Belinda Stronach has dumped Peter Mackay on the national news crossed the floor. In a nutshell, reactions have been occasionally catty and very often deliberately sexist, prompting many counterreactions and turning the whole thing into a national self-assessment of our gender equality; the political implications have by and large been lost in the shuffle.
Personally, I am not at all surprised by the defection, since Stronach has never really rung true as a Conservative. I am also impressed with her rather Machiavellian maneoverings – if she had started out in the Liberal party, chances are she would have spent a decade clawing her way up through the ranks. Instead, she bursts onto the scene as a candidate for the leadership of the last best threat to the Libs, making sure that everyone in the country knows exactly who she is; spends only a couple of years with the new Conservatives, then crosses the floor at the moment best suited for creating a really big splash, and walks into a Cabinet portfolio and national attention.
~ I had my annual checkup, albeit almost two years after my last one. My doctor is happy that I’ve stopped smoking, but is now clearly obsessed with my weight. I did finally get her to admit that the pain in my knees is arthritis – for ages she’s been saying that I am too young to have arthritis. Apparently I am no longer too young. She says that if I lose 20 pounds, my knees will feel better. As for the frequent indigestion, if I lose 20 pounds, that should clear up. And, if I lose 20 pounds, the itchy scalp should be fine.
~ in an effort to make my doctor happy, then, I’ve had my bike tuned up for the summer, and replaced my lost helmet, so I can take advantage of the myriad bike paths and get some exercise. Unfortunately, the only day that’s been bike-worthy was the day that Colin was home from school.
Today is another rainy, cold, generally miserable day, so we’re having a late brunch of strawberry and custard crepes, then we’re off to the McCord for the ‘Growing up in Montreal’ exhibit.
In case you were wondering
This is what I’ve been doing, instead of blogging, of late:
~ marking
~ finding new and inventive reasons not to mark
~ cleaning the home office
~ packing up the work office (see below)
~ watching my garden grow
~ making the guest room inhabitable (it’s currently inhabited by my good friend Heather, in town for the weekend. The world’s best mother-in-law will be inhabiting the room in July and August.)
~ laundry
~ despamming
The office saga
I’ve heard tales of teachers at other colleges sharing office space with up to five other people – and by ‘sharing office space’ I mean there’s one room, one phone, one computer, and six people. So for the past year and a half I’ve been remarkably lucky to have an office all to myself; furthermore, said office overlooks the football practice field, and does so from a large, sunny window.
I have this office because its actual ‘owner’ has been on leave, working for CIDA in Europe. The single-person office next to mine has been similarly occupied by a relative newbie (we were hired at the same time) because its occupant was on leave, teaching at Bishop’s in the Education department.
The rationale behind our occupation of these offices was that since the official occupants were expected to return, there was no point in installing a more senior teacher and then forcing that person to move if and when the office was reclaimed.
Now, my office has been a source of envy, not only because it’s a single, but also because I am, in the words of one of my colleagues, the “Martha Stewart of the English Department.” (Mum, I can hear you laughing. Stop that.) I have made my office comfortable and personal, true, but as I have explained to those who express their covetousness, if I leave the office, the contents are coming with me.
This spring, we lost a colleague after a horribly prolonged illness. The original occupant of my office was a close friend of this colleague, and has specifically requested his office when she returns to the college this fall. In the meantime, the original occupant of the neighbouring office is definitely not returning, preferring to stay at Bishop’s and chair the Education department. The upshot is that the two offices are now officially available. So my neighbour and I have been asked to move into a double office together, thus allowing the current doublers, who both outrank us, to have single offices. Now, this is only fair, and neither my neighbour nor I raised any protest whatsoever. However, my neighbour, whose very good friend is an archaeologist just down the hall, has asked if he can share with the bone guy.
So as it stands, I not only have an office to myself, now I have a double office to myself.
Yes, the office gods do indeed smile upon me.
More from the Robert dictionary
Isabella may have something to say about this one. According to Robert, octopuses have eight “testicles.”
The final insult
So a student at Queen’s was killed last week when he fell from the side of a campus building. The National Post headline, complete with subtle editorializing:
3-storey fall kills ‘skilled’ mountaineer
Zarquon!
We managed to squeeze in three movies this past weekend; two on DVD and one at an actual cinema. So, in brief…
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
/5
Oh, what a dilemma. Sex with Hugh Grant vs sex with Colin Firth. What is a girl to do?
Funny moments, and Renee Zellweger, although she cannot walk (!!!) has her moments as a comic actress. I found Shirley Henderson distracting because of her role as Moaning Myrtle in the Harry Potter series (I have the same problem with Miriam Margolyes in the new Mystery! series).
Seriously, though, what is up with Zellweger and her inability to convincingly move like a human being?
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
/5
I did see this on the “big screen” ages ago, but since (a) Dr. T had not seen it and (b) it features Johnny Depp, who is on my list, I was happy to watch it again. Depp is perfect as Captain Jack Sparrow, and I was glad to have a second viewing, which helped me appreciate Jonathan Pryce’s performance – altough Steve has ruined Jack Davenport for me.
In short, this is a fun movie with some easy-to-ignore plot problems (as Steve mentions, there’s a presumably undead pirate underwater somewhere; also, Captain Jack is seen in his prison cell by moonlight near the beginning of the film, which in retrospect shouldn’t have happened). It’s Johnny Depp. All is forgiven.
…and finally…
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
/5
Let me begin with my credentials – I have seen the really low-budget TV series, and own it on DVD. I have read the books – all of them – several times. I have heard the radio series that started it all. I have listened to the audio book, as read by the author. I have played – albeit rather unsuccessfully – the computer game. I know the answer, if not the question.
Having said that, it is my firm belief that you cannot be a HHGG purist – HHGG has existed in too many incarnations, and your first exposure to the series partly determines your appreciation. My parents, for instance, listened avidly to the radio series eons ago on CBC. Then they bought me the first book. My kids, however, know the TV series best.
There are many, many things that I liked about this movie – for instance, Zooey Deschanel is a much better Trillian than Sandra Dickinson was in the TV series; and I loved Mos Def’s interpretation of Ford Prefect – he was just kind of, well, alien. Stephen Fry is lovely to listen to, and OH MY GOD Alan Rickman was made to be Marvin.
On the other hand, I was not thrilled with the romantic subplot – it’s not vital to the story, and at the risk of contradicting myself and all that “can’t be a purist” stuff, there’s no record of such a romance in the other versions.
Nonetheless, I was very happy with this particular incarnation, as were Dr. T and the boys, both of whom very grown-upedly sat through the movie with us. Colin has already extracted a promise from us that we will get the DVD when it becomes available.
I originally set this at 3.5 stars – the extra star is partly for the Vogons, who were priceless, and partly for the opening sequence with the dolphins, which is worth… well, perhaps not the price of admission for four people at a downtown cinema on a Saturday afternoon, but close.
The trend continues
I feel oddly compelled to post today, if only because posting today will continue the pattern into which I seem to have fallen…
So, just to make it worth your while:
Brief reviews
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Mark Haddon
This is a great book, with a compelling narrator who is so realistic that people have been fooled into thinking that Haddon himself is autistic. In fact, Haddon did work with autistic children, and he obviously has a good writer’s gift of observation.
In brief, I laughed, I cried, etc., etc. Mind you, I bought the book primarily because (a) I had heard things, (b) it had a neat cover (I know, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover,’ but really, who among us doesn’t? It works as a metaphor, but actual books can definitely be judged by their covers.), and (c) the title is an allusion to a Sherlock Holmes story, ‘Silver Blaze.’ Yes, the book was great, but there was a significant lack of references to Holmes, although there was a curious incident, in the night-time, involving a dog.
Definite recommendation.
Read another review of this book.
The Jane Austen Book Club
Karen Joy Fowler
I’ve been trying to remember which book this book reminds me of (aside from the obvious parallels with various Austen novels), and I can’t! The premise is that six people – five women and one incongruous man – form an “all-Austen-all-the-time” book club. The women are of various ages, marital statuses and sexual orientations, and each one hosts one of the six club meetings.
Fowler manages to incorporate enough nuances of Austen characters into her own to let you know what she’s doing, without the echoes drowning out her own story. After all, as ‘Bride and Prejudice’ demonstrated, Austen’s characters and themes are universally recognized, if not universally experienced.
As any good Austen story, there are plenty of giggles, if not guffaws, and a few sardonic narrative grins. The narrator is the most interesting facet – this is a first-person narrative, but plural – “The six of us – Jocelyn, Bernadette, Sylvia, Allegra, Prudie and Grigg – made up the full roster…” So the implication is that the narrator is part of the group; however, the narrator’s identity is never revealed. Every member of the group is discussed in the third person. I spent the second half of the book playing process-of-elimination, trying to figure out which of the six could “be” the “I” behind the “we.”
Recommended, especially if you’ve read an Austen or two, and even more especially if you liked ’em.
Read the NYT review.
Shake Hands With the Devil
Romeo Dallaire
(not smiley appropriate)
Ok, here’s the thing. I feel morally obligated to read this book. This book is well-written. This book scares the bejeezus outta me and I cannot open it right now. I’ve managed to read up to the end of the first day following the explosion of the President’s plane. I know what’s coming.
This book is an exercise in frustration. Every step of the way, Dallaire details the attempts he made to avert what was increasingly inevitable.
This book is a tear-jerker. I was sobbing by the end of his preface, for goodness sake.
This book is, above all, terrifying. The human race can be a cold, bloody-minded monstrous thing. Dallaire writes about a military observer’s visits to Rwandan schools about a month before the genocide began:
“At one school, he noticed the teachers undertaking an administrative exercise: they were registering the ethnic identities of their pupils and seating them according to who was Tutsi and who was Hutu. This struck him as bizarre, since children in Rwanda were not require to carry identity cards. As he visited other schools, he discovered that the same procedure was taking place. We mistakenly assumed that this was just another example of ethnicity at play in Rwanda.”
Recommended, but be prepared to feel compelled to hug small children at random.
If you have time, there’s a transcript of an address by Romeo Dallaire to the Carnegie Council, as well as tons of other material – both pro and anti-Dallaire – widely available for perusal.
A poem
With not which put will something
Bea Arthur Braff Zach the and Churchill
Teflon Maggie that windshield wiper
Are one fluid
This now washer
Out wanted stars
For every photos naked Winston
Male Canadian McDonnell jokes
Montreal Ikea blades pictures
Wonderbrella review
Duck life monkey
You can tire
Women
Mans.
The first 50 key words from which search engines find this site. Inspired by Lisa.
Definitions from the Robert Dictionary
Robert was helping me unload the dishwasher yesterday, and I asked him to put away the cutlery. He looked at the contents of the dishwasher and said “that’s the furniture you use to eat, right?”