Reverse Psychosis

It’s brass-monkey freezing cold outside. I have no reason to go outside. No places to be, no people to see. So why, you ask (or you would if you had read the script beforehand), am I so desperate to get out of the house?
I’m waiting for the Maytag Man, that’s why…

Our dishwasher threw in the towel (ha!) Monday afternoon, and the Maytag Man (or woman, for all I know) is scheduled to come today. This is as specific as the Maytag Man’s dispatcher will get. (S)he’ll be here “Wednesday.”
I’ve been through this kind of repair-related wait before. I know what’s coming. I’m going to spend my day thinking of a million things I need to do, right now, that involve not being home. Colin, for instance, needs a red duotang (his teacher sent the yellow one home). I can get a red duotang at Canadian Tire. It’s only two blocks away… Of course, at 2:30 I really do have to go out, to meet Colin at the bus stop. I’ll be gone for about fifteen minutes. Any wagers on the Maytag Man (or Woman) showing up at 2:35, when I’m invisible around the corner?
I’m even paranoid about doing laundry, since it involves being in the basement with loud appliances (ironically, also Maytags), which means I might not hear the doorbell. Of course, the tiny rational part of my brain is trying to reassure me that if I can hear the doorbell every other day of the year, regardless of where I am in the house, then chances are I’ll hear it today. But dare I risk it?
The last time I went through this, it was to receive a package from a courier company that shall remain nameless. The package was supposed to arrive on Tuesday. Tuesday came and went, no package. Wednesday came and went, no package – and an insufficiently sympathetic reassurance from the company that it would definitely arrive Thursday – which it did, thankfully. But I sat in my house, not daring to do anything that might mean missing the doorbell, for two and a half days!!!
He came, he saw, he fixed. It’s 11:28 and it’s all over but the drying (ha, again).
Of course, that red duotang awaits, but let’s face it, it’s way too friggin cold to leave the house for no good reason.