Just for Laughs Festival, July 18, 2003 
Last year, my mum, sister and aunt did a girls’ day – lunch, shopping, An Evening at Eve’s Tavern, and supper. This year, we decided we loved that day so much we’d make it a tradition. We invited Kate and her mum along, partly to celebrate Kate’s recent (as in, same day!) move to Montreal.
My participation in the afternoon elements of the itinerary was curtailed because a certain tiny person chose to make an unscheduled appearance.
I met up with the girls at my place, where we had a nice cuppa and a quick catch-up before cramming ourselves circus-clown-style into Kathryn’s car and heading downtown. We arrived at the Spectrum to find a bit of a line-up, but were soon enough inside, and found a great table upstairs.
This year’s host, Aisha Tyler, is gorgeous but had a lot to live up to, given that last year’s host was Jann Arden, perhaps not as tall and slim, but definitely funnier and with better delivery. Tyler was the weakest element in an otherwise great show – of the three shows I took in the year, Eve’s was better than Bubbling with Laughter but not as good as the gala.
The first act was Sheryl Underwood, whom I’ve seen before, but who was more than a little raunchier this time – her other festival appearances this year included the Nasty Show, so I guess she was in that frame of mind. We were a little concerned that she was a sign of things to come for the rest of the evening, but thankfully, the rest of the comics were a lot less crass. Not that Underwood was unfunny – she had some great lines about being a black Republican: “there are eight of us. One of the perks is that we get flown in to any party event. Of course we have to move around the floor constantly so it looks like there are more of us…”
Highlights
Michele Balan: “I realized why we gain weight as we get older. I think to myself, ‘wow, I’m horny – wait, there’s a cookie. That’s easier.”
Judy Gold: (for context, gay, New Yorker, has 2 kids with her partner, 1st was carried by her partner, 2nd by her): “Our kids are going to be completely screwed up – two Jewish mothers.”
“My partner had our first child, by caesarian, because everything has to be dramatic… when the baby was 6 days old, we went out for a walk. I had the baby in the carrier, and my partner was holding on to walls to keep from collapsing. At the counter in the coffee shop, a woman asked me how old the baby was. I said ‘six days,’ and the woman said ‘wow, you look amazing!’ I said ‘thank you…’
Carla Collins: “I bought a vibrator at Ikea. I can’t get it assembled. I’m using the Allen key. It’s a little small.”
Maria Bamford: “Children in America, according to statistics, are more depressed than ever before. The sippy cup is half empty.”
Wendy Liebman (who closed the show and brought down the house):
• “My brother is in gradual school… he’s studying philosophy… he doesn’t know why.”
• “I took a year off to have a baby… … it didn’t work.”
• “I married a man with a 5-year old… mentality.”
• “His proposal was so romantic… he turned off the TV… well, he muted the TV… during a commercial…”
• “He does have kids, which is great, because now I have a second chance… to fail algebra.”
• “Now I understand my mother better. She always said that a mother has to be willing to give things up… like the will to live.”
• “Canada is great. The American health system is awful. My doctor charges me for a breast self-exam. It’s a flat fee.”
• “I can do an 18-hour bra in 15 minutes.”
• “I can’t drive and drive. I nearly had an accident with a house – it was on a trailer… it was headed right for me… I flashed my headlights and honked, but there was no one home… so I drove into the garage.”