Encounters with the Fat Man

Today was Robert’s Christmas party. After the party, I took the kids with me to the mall to do some last-minute shopping. Santa, who had already made an appearance at the school party, was at the mall, too, so we stopped to say hello.
First Robert sat on his knee, then Colin, and then Santa said “Maybe Mummy would like something from Santa too – would Mummy like to sit on my lap?”
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he’s a dirty old man. I said no, thank you. Does this mean I’ll be getting coal in my fishnets?