I occasionally wonder if advertisers are secretly conspiring against their own clients. Maybe these ad firms are really a consortium of anti-consumer granola types whose real mission is to make potential consumers associate negative thoughts and feelings with the hapless producers.
For instance…
Bell Mobility has completely turned me off not only their cellular phone service, but also Stephen Hawking. The recent radio ad campaign features three different versions of the CG voice – one female and two male – engaged in various discussions, arguments, and even romantic banter.
Similarly, Ikea insists on continuing its radio ads featuring a really, really poor facsimile of what I assume someone thinks is a Swedish accent, delivered in a monotone. This particular campaign has been assaulting listeners long enough that Ikea has received complaints – their response to which was to air ads with the same voice, saying things like “some people think my voice is annoying” and then trying out different bad accents, such as Jamaican.
Oh, and thanks to the radio ads for Pharmacie Jean Coutu, Mozart’s Eine Klein Nachtmusik is forever ruined. “You, and you, should go to Jean Coutu.” Yeesh.
And last but not least, it may have been a long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time since I rock and rolled, but I’m still too young for an Oldsmobile, thank you very much.
Life on the other side
In a few minutes, I’m off to school. This week, however, I’m on the other side of the desk. That’s right, the teacher has become the student.
This semester I’m taking the first course in the Performa program, which will eventually lead me to a Master’s in Education (one day, I’ll be a B.A.M.A.M.Ed.). What’s neat about this particular program is that it’s designed and taught by CEGEP teachers, for CEGEP teachers.
Today I get to make a presentation to the class – a concept map on the idea of ‘effective teaching.’ That’s right – I did my homework!
Next week, it’s back to school for real – and this semester, I get to try all my newfangled ideas out on actual students. Muahahaha!
Things I never thought I’d hear myself say
“Would you two please go somewhere else to argue about fembots!?!?”
Beatles, Beatles everywhere
Number 1 on the UK charts the day I was born: ‘The Ballad Of John And Yoko’
Number 1 on the US charts the day I was born: ‘Get Back’
And you?
via Shatnerian
I have a dream – a kinky dream
Ok, so I’m cleaning up the comment spam that’s accumulated of late, and one of the newest rat bastard spammers is flooding my site with links to pictures of naked male celebrities – including Martin Luther King.
Welcome to 2005, ladies.
A Short History of Nearly Everything
by Bill Bryson
I really, really liked this book – although it’s not ‘nearly everything.’ This is a great history of the progress of scientific thought, particularly scientific thought in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries. It gives readers a really good, layman’s terms, idea of what we think about the universe, the planet and the life thereon.
The Da Vinci Code
by Dan Brown
Well, first of all, kudos to my Dad for sending my Mum to Scotland, ostensibly to visit my gran, just to find me a paperback copy of this! I have managed to avoid The Da Vinci Code thus far simply because I have been waiting for the paperback, for a couple of reasons – first, because $30+ for a hardback seems a little extravagant for a novel, and second, because I tend to read in bed, or at least in semi-prone positions on the couch, and hardbacks are heavy.
“Trifle” my ass
Xmas goodies produced to date:
– 2 dozen pecan puffs (melt-in-your-mouth balls of pecany goodness);
– several dozen raisin-filled cookies (even Dina likes ’em);
– about 4 dozen ginger dots, all of which were rapidly consumed by my colleagues, some of whom had apparently not eaten in days;
– an army of gingerbread men (not necessarily an effective army, considering some of them look more like gingerbread thalidamide babies) and various other shapes with the rest of the dough;
– a vegetarian Christmas pudding;
– a trifle.
Ok, now this last item. “Trifle?” Whose idea of a cruel misnomer is this, anyway? Eight perfectly good egg yolks later, and it’s bye-bye lumpy custard, hello Bird’s canned powder. Anyway, it’s done now, sitting in the fridge, looking trifly. I used Nigella Lawson’s Domestic Goddess recipe, slightly modified to accommodate the lack of brandy – so it’s a cherry trifle with amaretto.
Next up is the cranberry gravy – I love this recipe. It’s got all the cranberries one could want, but in a savoury, red wine and red onion sauce that tastes way better than the usual cranberry jelly, IMHO.
Monkey
Well, the year is fast winding down, which of course means it must be time for the last Blork et Martine Monkey.
The theme for the December Monkey is “give me a year.” What would you do if you had a free year, all to yourself, to dedicate to whatever you wanted? Assume money was not a problem — you’ve just received a $60,000 Monkey Grant.
This may sound mundane, but with a year with no responsibilities and enough cash, I would definitely travel. There are hundreds of places I would love to experience – but I would narrow it down to three or four places, and spend three or four months in each place, living as a local, getting to know real people, and really absorbing the culture.
So, where would I go?
Well, Africa, definitely. I would love to spend a few months living on a wildlife preserve, working with the animals, learning about the native flora and fauna. Plus, I’d get to wear a safari hat and not look like a poseur.
A Greek island – no idea which one, as long as it’s small and sunny and Shirley Valentine-esque. I want to stroll down to the market and buy fresh fish from the Mediterranean and haggle with the locals, and wear floaty sundresses all the time.
Vietnam, Korea or Laos. (It’s possible that my travel plans have been slightly influenced by Anthony Bourdain.)
Final destination? I can’t decide – maybe India… but Australia would be neat… then there’s eastern Europe… and western Europe… and South America… and the Caribbean…
Sigh. Back to the Arctic blast of reality. Maybe Santa will bring me my Year of the Monkey!