![](\"http:\/\/www.golding.ca\/maggie\/images\/smile.gif\")
\nLast year, my mum, sister and aunt did a girls\u2019 day \u2013 lunch, shopping, An Evening at Eve\u2019s Tavern, and supper. This year, we decided we loved that day so much we\u2019d make it a tradition. We invited Kate and her mum along, partly to celebrate Kate\u2019s recent (as in, same day!) move to Montreal.
\nMy participation in the afternoon elements of the itinerary was curtailed because a certain tiny person chose to make an unscheduled appearance.
\nI met up with the girls at my place, where we had a nice cuppa and a quick catch-up before cramming ourselves circus-clown-style into Kathryn\u2019s car and heading downtown. We arrived at the Spectrum to find a bit of a line-up, but were soon enough inside, and found a great table upstairs.
\nThis year\u2019s host, Aisha Tyler, is gorgeous but had a lot to live up to, given that last year\u2019s host was Jann Arden, perhaps not as tall and slim, but definitely funnier and with better delivery. Tyler was the weakest element in an otherwise great show \u2013 of the three shows I took in the year, Eve\u2019s was better than Bubbling with Laughter but not as good as the gala.
\nThe first act was Sheryl Underwood, whom I\u2019ve seen before, but who was more than a little raunchier this time \u2013 her other festival appearances this year included the Nasty Show, so I guess she was in that frame of mind. We were a little concerned that she was a sign of things to come for the rest of the evening, but thankfully, the rest of the comics were a lot less crass. Not that Underwood was unfunny \u2013 she had some great lines about being a black Republican: \u201cthere are eight of us. One of the perks is that we get flown in to any party event. Of course we have to move around the floor constantly so it looks like there are more of us\u2026\u201d
\nHighlights<\/b>
\nMichele Balan: \u201cI realized why we gain weight as we get older. I think to myself, \u2018wow, I\u2019m horny \u2013 wait, there\u2019s a cookie. That\u2019s easier.\u201d
\nJudy Gold: (for context, gay, New Yorker, has 2 kids with her partner, 1st was carried by her partner, 2nd by her): \u201cOur kids are going to be completely screwed up \u2013 two Jewish mothers.\u201d
\n\u201cMy partner had our first child, by caesarian, because everything has to be dramatic\u2026 when the baby was 6 days old, we went out for a walk. I had the baby in the carrier, and my partner was holding on to walls to keep from collapsing. At the counter in the coffee shop, a woman asked me how old the baby was. I said \u2018six days,\u2019 and the woman said \u2018wow, you look amazing!\u2019 I said \u2018thank you\u2026\u2019
\nCarla Collins: \u201cI bought a vibrator at Ikea. I can\u2019t get it assembled. I\u2019m using the Allen key. It\u2019s a little small.\u201d
\nMaria Bamford: \u201cChildren in America, according to statistics, are more depressed than ever before. The sippy cup is half empty.\u201d
\nWendy Liebman (who closed the show and brought down the house):
\n\u2022 \u201cMy brother is in gradual school\u2026 he\u2019s studying philosophy\u2026 he doesn\u2019t know why.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI took a year off to have a baby\u2026 \u2026 it didn\u2019t work.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI married a man with a 5-year old\u2026 mentality.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cHis proposal was so romantic\u2026 he turned off the TV\u2026 well, he muted the TV\u2026 during a commercial\u2026\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cHe does have kids, which is great, because now I have a second chance\u2026 to fail algebra.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cNow I understand my mother better. She always said that a mother has to be willing to give things up\u2026 like the will to live.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cCanada is great. The American health system is awful. My doctor charges me for a breast self-exam. It\u2019s a flat fee.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI can do an 18-hour bra in 15 minutes.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI can\u2019t drive and drive. I nearly had an accident with a house \u2013 it was on a trailer\u2026 it was headed right for me\u2026 I flashed my headlights and honked, but there was no one home\u2026 so I drove into the garage.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"