(please note, many of these apply specifically to anglo Montrealers (see point 4))
\nyou pronounce it “Muntreal.”
\nyou have ever said anything like “I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.”
\nyour only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.
\nyou understand and frequently use terms like ‘unilingual,’ ‘anglophone,’ ‘francophone,’ and ‘allophone.’
\nyou agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you’re secretly proud of their nerves of steel.
\nthe most exciting thing about the South Shore is that you can turn right on a red.<\/p>\n
(please note, many of these apply specifically to anglo Montrealers (see point 4)) you pronounce it “Muntreal.” you have ever said anything like “I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.” your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket. you understand and frequently use terms like ‘unilingual,’ ‘anglophone,’ ‘francophone,’ … <\/p>\n
\nyou know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.
\nin moments of paranoia, you think that there’s no red line on the Metro because red is a federalist colour.
\nyou have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz’s and bagels from St-Viateur if you’re visiting anyone west of Cornwall.
\nyou refer to Tremblant as “up North.”
\nyou know how to pronounce Pie IX.
\nyou have an ancient auntie who still says “Saint Dennis.”
\nyou believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul – but your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your classmates live there now.
\nyou greet everyone, from lifelong bosom friends to some one you met once a few years ago, with a two-cheek kiss.
\nyou know at least one person who works for the CBC, and at least one other person who used to work for Nortel.
\nUpdate
\n(generated around the supper table with Dr. T, TB, Irene, Dave and Kate and a few bottles of wine)<\/i>
\nyou know what a four-and-a-half is.
\nyou’re not impressed with hardwood floors.
\nyou’ve been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.
\nyou can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for at least 25 years.
\nyou cringe when Bob Cole pronounces French hockey player names.
\nyou get Bowser & Blue.
\nyou were drinking cafe-au-lait before it was latte.
\nShopper’s Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK is finger lickin’ good.
\nyou really believe Just For Laughs is an international<\/i> festival.
\nfor two weeks a year, you are a jazz afficianado.
\nyou need to be reminded by prominent signage that you should wait for the green light.
\neveryone on the street – drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists – think they’re immortal, and that you’ll move first.
\nyou’re proud that Montreal is the home of Pierre Trudeau, Mordechai Richler, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen and the Great Antonio…
\nand, you consider Donald Sutherland (and by default, Keifer), Guy Lafleur, Charlie Biddle, and Roch Carrier Montrealers, too.
\nyou know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.
\nyou know the apocryphal story of the fat lady at Eaton’s.
\nyou miss apostrophes.
\nyou’ve seen Brother Andre’s heart.
\nno matter how bilingual you are, you still don’t understand “ile aux tourtes.”
\nyou know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
\nyou measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.
\nyou show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.
\nApril Wine once played your high school (alternatively, Sass Jordon or Gowan).
\nyou know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de Burgh.
\nyou don’t drink pop or<\/i> soda, you drink soft drinks.
\nyou have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you’ve never been in grade 12.
\nthe margarine in your fridge is the same colour as lard.
\nevery once in a while, you wonder whatever happened to Luba.
\nyou never thought that Corey Hart was cool, but you know someone whose cousin or something dated him.
\nthere has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.
\nyou remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
\nyou used to be an Expos fan, but now all you really miss is Youppi.
\nyou know that your city’s reputation for beautiful women is based on centuries-old couplings between French soldiers and royally-commissioned whores (aka Les Filles du Roi).
\nyou don’t understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.
\nInspired by similar lists on blogthing<\/a>. Keep the list going and add your ideas in the comments!<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"