Why would anyone resist living in denial? In denial, I am tall and thin and my hair always looks great. Also, my nose is just like Nicole Kidman's, but better.
In denial, the snow fluttering past my office window is not accumulating on my car, and my car will never die (nor will I, for that matter).
In denial, all the coffee I drink is good for me.
In denial, it's only a matter of time before the American citizenry collectively storms Capitol Hill and drags the Bush League out of the West Wing, unanimously declaring Bill Clinton (or Colin Powell or Oprah Winfrey or Jon Stewart or Big Bird) in charge "at least 'til we figure out what the heck our foreign policy is."
In denial, all of my students will have epiphanies in their sleep the night before the exam, and awake with fresh, permanent insight that allows them to coherently analyse literature without any comma splices or sentence fragments.
In denial, the approximately 125 papers on my desk were magically marked by the Grammar Gnomes overnight, and this morning I can relax, put on some perfectly legal tunes, and catch up on my reading.
Sigh.
Comments (7)
In denial, I go from pregnancy to having a sweet little baby in my arms, without that labour and giving birth necessity in between. I'm blocking that bit out and hoping that the birth fairies will take over for me.
Posted by Lisa | December 2, 2004 9:59 AM
Posted on December 2, 2004 09:59
What's with the comma splices anyway? DON'T DO IT!
FRICK!
Z
Posted by Z | December 2, 2004 10:06 AM
Posted on December 2, 2004 10:06
Lisa - don't forget: in Denial, the baby will weigh about 8 lbs, and you will weigh about ten less than when you started. Just like me. The only reason I don't wear my jeans from 8 years ago is that here in Denial, those jeans are totally out of style.
Zeffie - chill, dude. We're free in a matter of days!!! We won't have to face another comma splice ever (or at least until January 12).
Posted by Maggie | December 3, 2004 8:36 AM
Posted on December 3, 2004 08:36
This place Denial — do you have a map I could follow? I imagine it is a place where my house is clean and balcony furniture properly stored before any snow falls and the pyjamas I wear all day long are fashionable. I'll bet no nasty email about deadlines and such can get through, just nice emails inviting me to parties.
Posted by Isabella | December 3, 2004 1:15 PM
Posted on December 3, 2004 13:15
And if the PQ should ever actually ever win a referendum and Quebec serparates, Denial QC would remain part of Canada, right?
Posted by TB | December 3, 2004 1:42 PM
Posted on December 3, 2004 13:42
You may be thinking of Delusional, QC. Denial, QC is the only place in Quebec where there is no referendum, because no one wants to separate, primarily because the federal representatives for Denial are cooperative, generous and fluently bilingual.
Posted by Maggie | December 4, 2004 9:31 AM
Posted on December 4, 2004 09:31
I thought denial was a river in Egypt?
Posted by Chris | December 14, 2004 11:54 AM
Posted on December 14, 2004 11:54